a crawling paradox

Rebecca SE Tan

21 December 2022

Walked through a forest at Newcastle today, and wrote a poem on the way! Disclaimer that I have 0 (actual) literary training, so it's probably more like my disjointed thoughts masquerading as a poem LOL

Here goes nothing, I guess!

there are so many things i want to be

to be me and to be free

to be within and yet beyond

everything the world has to see

but what does it mean to be free?

is it getting the perfect job

neck deep in my favourite cause?

is it the winter breeze

the oceans, mountains, and trees?

what does it mean to be me?

is it filling my canvas with culture and colour

or is it my desk, my computer, and thoughts?

is it the peace of solitude and reflection

or the craving of your warmth?

what does it mean to me

to always be a wolf

to fight, to lust, to break;

an alpha with preened claws?

do i analyse with precision

or do i feed into my emotion

head and heart and faith and deed

fighting for a voice.

in the low glow of a fire

as i lay my head to rest

why do i dream of this and that

if it rages against my blood?

textures upon textures

upon textures upon textures

amounts to nothing but a blob

and so, I stop to breathe

but realise with a shock

the fight was my fuel

the backbone of my strength

I watch the sky turn to ash

And before my dying breath

I have to know!

My being –

Does it make any sense?

Is there something within nothing

Or is everything really nothing?

I’m a crawling paradox

armed with pride and weapons

begging for an answer

the Truth I say, please!

In Darkness there is Light.